What I Is - A study of fear

"Be afraid"

If ever there was a blueprint for the root cause of everything we do, "be afraid" is it. Fear is the base motivator for all human thought, action and ultimately survival as a species.

Fear lurks behind everything we do, dominates our lives, fuels our decision processes and rules our existence. To believe otherwise is folly. The evidence is all around us and everywhere inside us... if one is not too afraid to see it.

To live is to fear.

The following original poem by G. Laidlaw is one of a continuing series exploring the fear / human dynamic...

What I Is

I ain't Jesus

I ain't the Devil

I dig my graves

With a golden shovel

That I stole from a beggar-man

Scratching life from poverty sand

Eyes raised to the skies

Dark brilliance inside

I dig a hole

'Cause your cancer's alive

You've heard all about me

I'm all that and more

An' you know what I is

'Cause we've met before

I'm the acid rain that ruins a perfect day

I'm the cold sore on your lip that just won't go away

I'm the dark stretch of highway when you run out of gas

I'm the rings left on the bar by the alcoholic's glass

That's what I is

I ain't Ozzy

An' I ain't Alice

I drink my poison

From a silver chalice

That I stole from a little fag

Sniffing glue from a paper bag

Eyes filled to the brim

Cold misery within

I drink a toast

To your nightmares and sin

You've heard all about me

I'm all that and more

An' you know what I is

'Cause we've met before

I'm the unknown soldier with a drumbeat all my own

I'm the tiny click you hear when you pick up the phone

I'm the lights in your vision when you stand up too fast

I'm the heat in the shock wave of a nuclear blast

That's what I is

I ain't just me

I ain't you either

I spin my webs

With black widow spiders

That I stole from a gutterfly

A ripped up pissed on butterfly

Eyes numbering eight

Hold violence and hate

I cast a strand

And thus seal your fate

You've heard all about me

I'm all that and more

An' you know what I is

'Cause we've met before

I'm the ember in the fire that falls onto the rug

I'm the number you can't find when Junior eats the drugs

I'm the knot in your gut when you fold and lose the game

I'm the million cells that die every time you snort cocaine

That's what I is

I ain't finished

I ain't yet begun

To shoot these bullets

From this golden gun

That I stole from your unborn son

Destined to be deaf blind and dumb

Eyes centuries old

Vile horrors untold

I'll fire a shot

Through your heart and your soul

You've heard all about me

I'm all that and more

An' you know what I is

'Cause we've met before

I'm the odor in the air that calls the flies to feast

I'm the evil in Man and the number of the Beast

I'm the pain in your head when the truth is shown to you

I'm the empty void that's waiting when your life is through

That's what I is

- G. Laidlaw

© Copyright by the Author. All rights reserved. Used with permission.