Sunday, February 6, 2011

What I Is - A study of fear

"Be afraid"

If ever there was a blueprint for the root cause of everything we do, "be afraid" is it. Fear is the base motivator for all human thought, action and ultimately survival as a species.

Fear lurks behind everything we do, dominates our lives, fuels our decision processes and rules our existence. To believe otherwise is folly. The evidence is all around us and everywhere inside us... if one is not too afraid to see it.

To live is to fear.

The following original poem by G. Laidlaw is one of a continuing series exploring the fear / human dynamic...

What I Is

I ain't Jesus
I ain't the Devil
I dig my graves
With a golden shovel
That I stole from a beggar-man
Scratching life from poverty sand

Eyes raised to the skies
Dark brilliance inside
I dig a hole
'Cause your cancer's alive

You've heard all about me
I'm all that and more
An' you know what I is
'Cause we've met before

I'm the acid rain that ruins a perfect day
I'm the cold sore on your lip that just won't go away
I'm the dark stretch of highway when you run out of gas
I'm the rings left on the bar by the alcoholic's glass
That's what I is

I ain't Ozzy
An' I ain't Alice
I drink my poison
From a silver chalice
That I stole from a little fag
Sniffing glue from a paper bag

Eyes filled to the brim
Cold misery within
I drink a toast
To your nightmares and sin

You've heard all about me
I'm all that and more
An' you know what I is
'Cause we've met before

I'm the unknown soldier with a drumbeat all my own
I'm the tiny click you hear when you pick up the phone
I'm the lights in your vision when you stand up too fast
I'm the heat in the shock wave of a nuclear blast
That's what I is

I ain't just me
I ain't you either
I spin my webs
With black widow spiders
That I stole from a gutterfly
A ripped up pissed on butterfly

Eyes numbering eight
Hold violence and hate
I cast a strand
And thus seal your fate

You've heard all about me
I'm all that and more
An' you know what I is
'Cause we've met before

I'm the ember in the fire that falls onto the rug
I'm the number you can't find when Junior eats the drugs
I'm the knot in your gut when you fold and lose the game
I'm the million cells that die every time you snort cocaine
That's what I is

I ain't finished
I ain't yet begun
To shoot these bullets
From this golden gun
That I stole from your unborn son
Destined to be deaf blind and dumb

Eyes centuries old
Vile horrors untold
I'll fire a shot
Through your heart and your soul

You've heard all about me
I'm all that and more
An' you know what I is
'Cause we've met before

I'm the odor in the air that calls the flies to feast
I'm the evil in Man and the number of the Beast
I'm the pain in your head when the truth is shown to you
I'm the empty void that's waiting when your life is through
That's what I is

- G. Laidlaw

© Copyright by the Author. All rights reserved. Used with permission.

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